I often quote myself; it adds spice to my conversation.
— G. B. Shaw
How many NASA managers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
“That’s a known problem… don’t worry about it.”
Hhhmmmmmmmm waterbeds for cows eleet Culus: why would a cow need a waterbed? cas: To be comfy warm
The fly in the ointment of computer literacy.
When a fly lands on the ceiling, does it do a half roll or a half loop?
I am two with nature.
— Woody Allen
Monitored by the American Human Association.
When you starve with a tiger, the tiger starves last.
This Fortune Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14
Uh-oh!! I forgot to submit to COMPULSORY URINALYSIS!