Signs of crime: screaming or cries for help.
— The Brown University Security Crime Prevention Pamphlet
Even a blind pig stumbles upon a few acorns.
Any clod can have the facts, but having opinions is an art.
— Charles McCabe
If only you had a personality instead of an attitude.
"Arguments with furniture are rarely productive."
— Kehlog Albran, “The Profit”
The ripest fruit falls first.
— William Shakespeare, “Richard II”
Never play pool with anyone named “Fats”.
Rube Walker: “Hey, Yogi, what time is it?”
Yogi Berra: “You mean now?”
What we wish, that we readily believe.
"… the Mayo Clinic, named after its founder, Dr. Ted Clinic …"
— Dave Barry